Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Why I hate food bloggers and editors!

I've come to the conclusion that food editors live in a world totally different than mine. They live in a world where you have no life except food. You have all day long to play around with recipes and all day long to prepare these beautiful dishes that take way too much time. It's completely unrealistic!

Let's start with this ridiculous article. 10 Ideas for Lunch (That Aren't Sandwiches). On the surface that sounds fabulous doesn't it? They even touted it was better than leftovers (but after my complaint they took it down, so it's gone now). Taking a lunch with you that not only isn't a sandwich sounds great right? WRONG!

In this list is the most ridiculous painstaking recipe around. Its Pad Thai recipe calls for grilled shrimp and poached eggs. Yeah, I have the time to grill some shrimp and poach some eggs. Well hell then, I may as well eat it for dinner and do what? Make leftovers! Of course, now that they removed the proud "No need for leftovers" brag, that sounds kind of lame. Still, it was ridiculous!

Now here's a good one. How to Make Perfect, Restaurant-Style Rotisserie Chicken Ramen. Not to burst their bubble or anything, but where it tells you to hard cook an egg and add that. Whose bright idea is that? Let's take something simple (Ramen, I mean how much more simple is that?) and add to it something that will take you 20 minutes to boil, then 20 minutes to cool and sometimes 20 freaking minutes to peel! You know how they do it in Asia? They break a freaking egg into the broth a few minutes before serving. It cooks in the broth and gee, you get the same result. Look at how much easier that is! No, no! Let's do it the food editor way. This is proof that they never even made this themselves. They just found pictures online that resembled something that they were talking about and slapped it on there. Then oh yeah, there's an egg in the picture and we never mentioned an egg in the article, so let's add that now.

Then there was this ridiculous thing. Hungry? Try One of These 15 Enticing Enchilada Recipes For Dinner. On the surface, this doesn't look so bad, right? I mean, how can you go wrong with enchilada recipes? I can't have enough! I love them!

However, take a look at the second one down, the Slow-Cooker Honey-Chipotle-Stout Enchiladas. Um. To begin with, the pictured dish is a baking dish. Curious, I clicked on the recipe and then was amazed at the ridiculousness of it all. I don't mean to pick on particular bloggers, but in my opinion what makes slow cooker meals grand are two things: 1. Less mess. 2. Less trouble. You just throw it in the pot and it's done right? Not according to this recipe. You take it out of the slow cooker then guess what you do? YOU BAKE IT! Why couldn't I simply bake it in the beginning then? Now I have twice as many dishes!

This is where the time on people's hands come from. Some have a lot of time on their hands. I just don't see how spending all day in the kitchen is going to make my food taste any better.

I once decided I wanted to try making my own tomato paste. I grew tomatoes one year and I had so many tomatoes I didn't know what to do with them all. After one round of trying to make tomato paste I quickly realized that my time and effort was much more valuable canning tomatoes (diced, pureed, and cut up) than making that silly ridiculous tomato paste. It's more economical to buy the paste than to make it. Spending all those hours it took just to make a little bit of paste was a total waste of my time! I could have accomplished something much more worthwhile during that space of time.

Let's circle back around to that lunch ideas article. Scroll down to the bottom. There's another group of recipes suggested in that final recipe. I mean, how stupid are we? This food editor clearly doesn't know the difference between a Frito and Dorito. There is a huge difference! How can I trust this editor at all?

Oh and I'm sorry, but I'm not going to ever put kale and apples in a quesadilla, EVER. Plus, who can afford brie anyway? I'm more likely to use a low fat cream cheese (or even neufchatel) spinach and turkey. Easier, cheaper and can be reheated. Then I can have an apple on the side.

The thing is, with food blog competition out there these days, you're going to find some insanely stupid recipes. Don't buy into their nonsense. Take a more sensical approach and think ahead about what you're doing. Don't waste your time with suggestions that food editors haven't even tried. Their "collections" of recipes are simply easy ways to write articles without having to think of content.

Bloggers who can spend eons in the kitchen live in a world that is beyond our reality. They may have time to spend, but I certainly don't. I don't blog for a living so I can get away with telling you how to spend all day in the kitchen.

I will say that there are always exceptions to the rule. Let me first say that I love Pioneer Woman and everything she does. I just hope that her ideas or the way she does things will not spill over into 'now I've run out of ideas so let me make something up'. That's when we get into these garbage recipes.

I also love Alton Brown's approach to life. I can't say that I've loved all his recipes, but he sure is fun to watch and listen to. I've actually seen him up close and personal. He came down here one year to promote Gulf Shrimp and what fun that was.

I just want you to beware of "delicious" recipes. They come with a high price tag and a plenty of time wasters.

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